Happy Friday, Reader, you made it!
This week, we’re talking about what parts – or how much – of your story are appropriate for a personal statement.
Admit It: You’ve written and deleted the same paragraph three times because you can’t tell if it’s too much or just enough.
Let’s make a quick distinction. There are two types of oversharing in personal statements for graduate school.
One is packing in too much content, like every job, award, and transition in life. The other is going too deep by sharing something so personal or raw that the reader is left figuring out what to do with it.
Let’s focus on the second one, because some generic application advice suggests applicants take the trauma-dumping route as a differentiator. Eeek. When you’re writing such a personal document without clear guidance, it can easily slide into journal territory.
Think about a job interview. The first question is usually “tell me about yourself.” Great responses to this question are personal and memorable, yet concise and directly related to why you’re in that chair: to show you’re the best person for the job. You could share hours of life stories with them (including some of the hardest times in your life), but unless those relate to the job or field, it’s not the time to share them.
Your personal statement works the same way. But here’s the catch: how much you share is dependent on the type of program you’re applying to.
In counseling, social work, education and many health-related programs, a deeply personal story that connects why you’re applying is often welcome and valued. In more formal fields like business and law, the standard is slightly different given the culture of those fields.
Exceptionally competitive programs are looking for proof that the applicant has what it takes to make it to graduation. If your personal story, or how it’s framed, suggests otherwise, they may misread how ready you are for graduate school.
Here’s how that plays out.
Picture an applicant to a formal, highly competitive program who went through something really hard a few years ago and is in a much better place now. The experience shaped them, but it isn't the driving force behind wanting this degree. For them, I'd recommend a brief reference to "a challenging period," then spend the rest of the statement on who they are today and where they're headed.
Now picture someone applying to a counseling program whose path into the field is the result of a similar experience. That story might actually be their personal statement opening, because the reviewers often research and teach about challenging life experiences.
Here are the action steps to figure out whether your stories are too much or just enough for your applications.
Action Step 1: Read the room before you write.
Spend 20 minutes on each program’s website, including five or six faculty profiles. You’re looking for an overall tone. Does the program describe itself in warm, personal language or crisp, formal language? Faculty often read applications, so their own bio pages are a good preview of who they are, what they value, and what their threshold for deeper personal stories might be.
Action Step 2: List your stories and give each one a job.
Write down the experiences that feel important to your “why.” Next to each one, answer this question: “Does this connect to the career I want or to this program?” If it’s a yes, keep it on your shortlist for when you write. If not, that doesn’t make it unimportant. It just means your personal statement might not be the spot for it.
Action Step 3: Write from the other side of the experience.
Reviewers have read heavy stories and easy ones. They aren’t making admissions decisions based on how hard your life has been. They’re looking at what you’ve done with what you’ve experienced, and whether you’re now ready to go to graduate school. Here’s a quick test: reread each paragraph and ask whether it’s mostly about what happened to you or what you did with it. (For more on that shift, here’s a recent Admit It about turning experience into evidence).
What I'm working on ✍
This too much vs. just enough concept goes beyond personal statements. I’m preparing an overhaul of my website’s About page and finding the balance of what to share on my own educational journey there.
For some readers, seeing that I was once rejected from a nationally ranked graduate program might not be what they expect from a graduate school strategist. For others, it’s why they keep reading. They can learned what I changed, then avoid those same mistakes and save themselves a year of reapplying.
Given the people who have been finding and hiring me to support their own application processes, I’ll likely keep it. You’ll be the first to know when updates go live!
So before you close your next draft, reread each paragraph and ask: “What job is this paragraph doing to convince the reviewer I’m ready for their program?”
That one question will keep your personal statement on track.
Thanks for being here, make it a great weekend!
Dr. Jena
P.S. Not sure whether your story is too much or just enough for the programs on your list? That’s exactly what my Personal Statement Reviews are for. Start with a short form, then choose a time for a free 30-min discovery call. Happy writing!